Friday, March 21, 2008

People Who Live in Glass Houses

You know the rest....something about throwing stones. So I am paraphrasing but the message is all the same which is "don't judge others unless you want to be judged yourself". Let's face it. We all have skeletons (yes I know you do even if you are shaking your head no). We all have had moments of regret or where we wished that we would have acted differently. None of us are perfect and should not be held to a higher standard than we would hold ourselves.

I am amazed at how I keep learning these obvious lessons even at the ripe ole age of 42. Most recently I have been judged hurtfully by someone in my family. It hurts bad. Much more badly than I initially realized. Time does heal certain wounds but judgments can linger around for a long time.

Now, I have never really been the kind of person to hold a grudge and I can say fairly matter-of-factly that I have never rejected an apology. I think apologies are awesome. They feel great to say them and they feel great to hear them.

But what do you do when the apologies don't come and you are left to feel hurt? There is no closure. No resolution. Just a bunch of displaced hurt.

I am not speaking metaphorically. This really happened to me. Someone gave me their opinion of me and it was not pretty and I didn't understand it and I am left with it on my mind. Because the person who gave it wasn't a stranger. It was a member of my family. And it hurts.

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