Monday, January 16, 2012

Monday Morning Me

A new week has begun and I checked back at the calendar to find myself wondering how I intended to do all of this.  I have so many deliverables at work, 15 end of year reviews to do, and a bunch of job interviews to prepare for.  I better start figuring it out, right?

Around the house - this week I get a break.  Monday is a holiday so there is no work, no dance, no school, and no CCD.  Thinking how I can bribe my work, the school, and dance class to do more holidays like these. 

What my kids are doing - Kelly started a new dance class a few weeks ago and really liked it. It's new for her because it's hip hop and the group is much older than she is used to.  I am hoping she finds her rhythm. So far she is keeping up.  Varsity baseball is coming up and I understand the team is thirsty for a thin, fast junior to start at left field.  Any idea who they might have in the line up?  I do.

I'm noticing - How much my house has been screaming for a new paint job.  I don't know how I have lasted these past 8 years without it but it needs it desperately and I am starting to see paint cans around here.  We are moving in the right direction.

I am proud of - A few people for making good choices.  Kevin called me the other day on the phone.  That in and of itself makes me happy. He was talking about his classes and his schedule and it looks like he is getting a lot of studying time in which makes me double happy.  He told me he will not pursue intramural baseball because of his studies.  Another good choice. Then there is Ryan.  I am noticing more studying and better grades and college brochures.

Did you know? - I am coming up to a 10 year wedding anniversary.  More to come on that but a little birdie whispered to me that 10 years is not diamond.  It's coach purse!  I hope someone mentioned that to the hubby.

On my table - 5 pint size paint cans in different colors.  Did I mention how happy I am to be painting the inside of this house.  Oh and I get a double bonus. We are going to be painting the outside of the front door too!  I have always disliked that color.

Good thoughts - This may sound superficial but I love my bootcamp class mainly because my friends who go are so much better than me.  Most people might get discouraged but I don't.  I just use it as a way to keep up and that makes me push myself harder.  I just wish my knees worked better.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Mother Duckie

On my way to work this morning I saw one of the cutest scenes I had seen in quite some time. 

The scene was of a mother duck walking with about 10 of her little baby ducklings running right behind her.  At first it struck me because I can never get enough of little baby ducklings. They are so cute and tiny and yellow.  They walk with their tiny feet so fast in an effort to keep up with their momma making sure to never get lost behind.  They all go in the same direction.  Not one ever strays or rebels.

The momma inevitably walks with pride. She is so gigantic compared to the babies but she walks slowly so they don't get too far behind.  Occasionally she stops and looks back in order to make sure no one got lost.  She is very protective so you probably shouldn't mess around with her or something bad might happen.

Eventually she waddles her way to a canal, hops in, and the babies follow.  Content.

At first I was fascinated because of the cuteness of it all but then after they waddled off I couldn't help to think how much this scenario mirrors that of us human moms.  I totally related to this duck! 

At first I only had one little duckling. 

Then there was a second.


Then 3.

And then there were 4. 

When they were tiny humans they followed me around wherever I went.  They went in my direction.  They didn't stray or rebel. 

So many times I looked back to check to see if they were still there and didn't get lost.  Many times I found myself having to protect them from the nasty elements.  I got myself in a few fights but that's what us mommas do.  We fight for our ducklings proudly and fiercely and we don't apologize for it.

Eventually our ducklings grow up and leave the nest just like those little ducklings will eventually do.  And maybe she will look back and relish on the days when her babies followed her around, paid attention, and shared love.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Embrace Changing Relationships

The new year always brings about fresh changes, ideas, and goals. At least it does for me.  Every year I set forth at least 50 goals.  No lie!  This year is no exception.  So I wrote them down and am in the process of creating an action plan for them which is always the exciting part for me.

But somewhere along the way during these holidays I started to reflect about the past few years and how scurried life has become in my home.  I have always felt really uncomfortable about the chaos especially since I don't think a lot of it is positive.  Much of it causes stress and weariness on me which I know reflects on my family which generally takes us to a place I don't care to be. 

I started thinking about how I can ease back on the stress and create more of a work life balance.  Reflecting on this then made me start thinking about new goals and new outlook.  I want our lives to be more easy going and memorable.  I want to do more with my family and spend more quality time with them.  I want to enjoy the laughs and the smiles and the little things like watching them play around the house or outside in the yard.

So in the spirit of making myself accountable for all of my new found goals and outlooks I thought I would share them here on my blog so I can hear any and all comments and gain new perspectives and look at my progress along the way.  One of my first and most important new year goals is:

Embrace Changing Relationships

I realized that I need to start creating new relationships with my older kids.  They are no longer little kids who need my constant direction and oversight.  They are young adult men who I gave wings to and now it's time to let them fly.

 One of them is in college and one is shortly there.  They no longer need me to tell them the difference between right and wrong.  I have been doing that for 18 years now and while I will always be there to step in and assist them, I have to trust that they learned something from my direction.  So this is a new experience for me going from being a mommy to being a friend.  I had a talk with my oldest the other day about this and how much I enjoy sitting and talking with him and how much fun he is to be around.  It's such a new dynamic for us...actually CHOOSING to be together rather than defaulting to be together.  It's one of the lessons of motherhood that no one ever told me about and something I never really thought of until he went away to college and suddenly I found myself wondering how to cope with him being an adult and away from me. 

So as I learn and grow through this transition I am pretty certain that we will stumble and fall every now and then and that's ok. I won't be too hard on any of us.  I will just take it as a new journey in life,enjoy all of life's moments,  and pray that God will be watching over us.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

When They Were Mine....

Years ago when I first became a mother and then eventually became a mother again 3 times more, I thought it was the hardest yet most rewarding job in the world.  I loved being a mom but you know how tough 2 am feedings are and long nights of 5th grade math and being up day and night while they suffer from fever and chicken pox.  The potty training and learning how to walk and making sure the house is baby proofed.  Then there is remembering the tooth fairy and playing Santa Claus and wiping tears when they scrape their knee or have to go to bed with no dessert.  The late night school projects are tough as are worrying about them when they drive your car on their own for the first time.  Their first heartbreak is brutal as is waiting for those SAT scores. 

But all of those necessary tasks and worries are nothing compared to how difficult it is when you have to say goodbye to your child as he goes to college.  I have done it and thus far it has not gotten easier.  I give myself these pep talks that say things like "don't forget he is getting a good education" and "he will be back before you know it".  I start planning out what my next care package will be and what the birthday gift is that I will be sending him.  I schedule days in my calendar that will be good to skype.  I do all of that because it makes me feel a little bit better and a little less lonely while he is away. 

Giving our kids roots and wings is the best thing we can do for them but watching them use those wings to fly is by far the toughest job of all.
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