Thursday, May 22, 2008

Time For Mom

My life is usually as busy as Grand Central Station at rush hour. Though I am not complaining and believe I have mastered the art of organization, things still get rough at certain times of the day. Those times are mainly morning rush hour getting myself and all 4 kids ready for the day and off to 3 different schools and then evening as I pick all of them up, homework, sports, and dinner at 6.

When my first baby was born I remember just emersing myself into him. I subsequently had a second one two years later and then I was emersing myself into two small children. They became the center of my world, as they should have but I never knew how to balance their world and my world. I failed at it and that sent me into a terrifying depression that I believe was one of the many reasons that my marriage ended.

In retrospect it was not my children's fault. It was my fault. I didn't have the skills or tools or the knowledge to recognize the problems and fix them. I paid the price (and still am paying) but I like to think I learned something along the way about how to call "time out".

I believe there is nothing wrong with calling on your kids, spouse and family for help. I believe that there is nothing wrong with mommy time whether it is mommy taking a nice long walk, exercising, shopping, reading alone, getting a pedicure, or whatever it is that regenerates your senses and helps to clear your head.

It's not selfish. It's necessary. Taking care of your spouse, children and family is a demanding job regardless if you are a stay at home mom or a working mom. Being Wonder Woman is a myth and a fantasy, in my humble opinion. I have tried it and it didn't work. The expense was and is too great.

I admit to my kids and to myself that I cannot DO IT ALL and I admit to them that I am a human being filled with faults and imperfections. I remind them that I try to make the best decisions based on the love that I feel for them and what I believe is for their well being. But nothing is perfect and if I screw up, I will be the first to admit it.

I try to communicate the best that I can. I try to admit I am sorry. I pray every day that I be the best that I can be and the best that God wants me to be. I pray for forgiveness. I tell my children and spouse that I love them dearly. I kiss and hug all of them as much as I can.

Spend time with your family but also take some time to spend with yourself.

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