Finding Your Love

I remember about eight years ago when I was dating this guy. We were really on and off breaking up two or three times that year. I was a total schizo about the whole situation. I was raising two small boys on my own and living out of a small 700 sq ft apartment. There was no place for them to run around. I could barely pay my bills. Things were tight. And as for my romantic life I had this guy in it who just wouldn't quit no matter how hard I tried to run from him. I was nervous about the whole blended family situation. This guy has little experience with small children and he kept promising a future that would be "super easy." I had lots of doubts.

I couldn't picture it. After all, he votes Democrat and I vote Republican. No way that can mix well. And then he came to my doorstep with a magazine article about him and her and I had to laugh.

If they can do it, so can we. Tomorrow will be 6 years into our marriage that gets better and better with each challenging day. My life feels so complete now that he is in it.

Giving Thanks

I have been reading so many blogs and websites with people giving their own thanks. I don't think I can quite add much of my own that is of any great interest to my outside world but I think I would be remiss if I didn't at least give thanks for the 5 greatest blessings in my life.

Him



and Them



The rest is just icing on the cake.

Special Anniversary

I don't remember the exact date that my DH and I first dated. I don't remember the date that we got engaged. I do remember the date that that we call our "first meeting". It was on the date of this event...



October 16, 1999 and we just celebrated 8 awesome years since then. It's a really long story that I plan to blog about in bits and pieces but I can say that I remember this day vividly right down to what I was wearing, what I said, what I did, what I ate, and how wet I got. I also remember my inner feeling when I got paired up to work this storm cleanup with this "cute guy" who I knew nothing about but was told I would have to drive in the same car with him. I didn't think of being scared. Instead I thought that maybe God finally was listening to my prayers and it turns out that he was because my life forever changed after that day.

It turned into this..



which then turned into this...

There is a bug in my house today

Greg has a bug and needs to get an antibiotic for it.

Jack has a bug called the terrible twos.

Kelly has a bug called "The Princess Rules the Roost".

Kevin has a bug that is pestering the heck out of Ryan.

Ryan has a bug that won't allow him to fully understand that (-14 - -17) is "3" and not "-3".

And I am the mom. I can't afford to have bugs.

Happy Birthday to Me

Tomorrow I am going to be 24 years old...or is that 42? I can't remember. I think I might have dyslexia. And every birthday that comes and goes I always set aside some time to think about the state of my life as I change another year and think of where I am and where I want to go. I have to say that tomorrow I will give myself a B+ which is probably one of the highest grades of all time.

Why that is isn't easily explained because some of it can't be put into words but I think I can touch on highlights.

Number one would have to be the state of my marriage. I have to rate that an A+. I really couldn't ask for more and I really can't expand on it too much more.

Number two would have to be the state of my family. All four kids are doing really well in school and in life. They are all thriving and I am so proud of them. I can hardly put that into words either. I have learned how to accept each one of them for their individuality. There have been moments where that has been difficult. For example, last year when Ryan started middle school he really struggled with his study habits. Quite honestly he didn't have any and I struggled to teach him. He was so unlike his older brother who is so intelligent that he really doesn't need to study much. With Ryan I worked harder and took less for granted. I will never forget his first semester midprogress report. Straight D's. I thought we were looking at something more serious developmentally. But Ryan and I worked through it. I took him out of his sports program and we worked hard. He brought every D up to A's and B's and his first report card made us cry. Every day is a new joy, a new struggle, a new lesson learned but I couldn't have asked for better kids to walk this path with than the ones I have.

Number three would have to be my mental state. I have been in some really dark places in the past 10 years. Some that I don't care to return to. Some that I am still feeling the aftershocks of. Some that I still don't have closure. But with a lot of hard work I am overcoming a lot of those problems. When I was little I overheard my grandmother tell my mom that I was "going places." When I asked what that meant (I think I was not yet a teenager) my mom told me that it simply means that I will be really successful in whatever I do in life. I have never forgotten that. I think that in the past 10 years I have let my leadership qualities slip a lot and I am slowly bringing those back.

Number four would have to be friendships. It has been a long time since I have had a group of friends that I could call my own. And this year I decided that I needed to do something about that. I searched within myself to try to be a better friend thinking that doors would open for me at that point. I opened doors in places that had never been obvious to me and reached out to people just in the spirit of being nice to others. What I found was a few new friends from work and a few new friends that I have reconnected with and the list is growing every day.

Number five would have to be my career. I feel a major shift growing inside of me but in order to not jinx it I will expand on that at a later time.

I believe that birthdays should be meant to celebrate life and achievement and I am so happy and glad to be spending tomorrow with people who mean a lot to me and with my husband and kids who have inspired me to be better than I could be.

7-7-07

So many people are ranting about getting married today on 7-7-07. This leads me to blog about my own wedding date which is 2-2-02. I got a lot of rolled eyes and "awes" from various friends and family when I told them that I was getting married on this date. It was purely accidental too.

We got engaged on August 19, 2001 and then started looking for a wedding date that would be suitable. We figured it would be on a Saturday. We started looking for places to have the ceremony and reception and found that we wanted an outdoor wedding.

This narrowed the window of good dates down considerably because of the awful heat that arrives in April and doesn't leave until November. It was also risky in March and April because of the potential for Spring showers. That left us with December, January and February. We didn't want to do December because of the Christmas holidays so close by so we decided on January or February. We found an old opera house that we fell in love with to have the ceremony and when we sat with the wedding coordinator for the house the only date open for us was February 2, 2002. We looked at that date and laughed. What a coincidence! Greg would surely never forget that one.

And that was how we chose the date or rather I feel like the date chose us without us realizing it. We never figured it would symbolize good luck because I don't really believe in those types of superstitions but it was something cute to talk about. I believe that the good luck happened on October 16, 1999 when I had my first conversation with Greg and realized that my life would be changed forever.

Convalidation Final Episode

We just came back from the convalidation. It was really nice. Very basic ceremony. Fr OReilly read a really nice scripture and then we did our vows and he blessed our rings. He pronounced us man and wife. He let us share a kiss and he then congratulated us. Later on we were talking about it. The basics of the marriage ceremony and how different weddings can look on the outside while being so basic on the inside.

We stood at a kneeler and Jack and Kelly were kneeling on it. That felt a bit strange...saying your vows with your two youngest children at your feet. I felt a bit regretful that Kevin and Ryan could not be there. It's a long story but I only have one more Saturday this year with them and I gave them a choice to be at the convalidation or use it as a weekend where we could go somewhere as a family. They chose to be together on a family weekend vacation. We did explain to them what we were doing and they seemed to be happy for all of us.

Now that this chapter of my life is wrapped up it feels good to have completed the journey.

Convalidation part 3

The convalidation is today. I have no clue what to expect. I think it will be a short ceremony because that is how Fr. OReilly operates...short, sweet and to the point. I am hoping it will be short because it is at 1 pm which falls right in the middle of Jack's nap and that is sometimes a recipe for disaster. I doesn't really matter though because we will be the only ones there and I think Fr. OReilly has a pleasant tolerance for loud kids. That's a plus for us because that describes our children to a T ...LOUD!

After the convalidation we might stop for something to eat. Nothing fancy but something nonetheless. We might be a bit hungry. The plan then is to go back to the house and finish getting ready for our road trip tomorrow. That entails packing, laundry, house cleaning, grocery shopping and lawn mowing. I will try to squeeze a pedicure in there at some point.

These past few days I have reflected about this convalidation. I don't seem to be making a big deal of it...no fancy music, no bells and whistles, no fancy clothes. I guess I just prefer it to be something just between me and Greg and God. I don't need anything else really if you think about it. The other stuff is just superficial and with 4 kids to spent time and money on, the superficial stuff doesn't really matter to me.

The Queen Meets The Church Lady

I am taping the movie "The Queen". I hear it is a really good movie. The Queen reminds me of the church lady who is "helping" us in our convalidation ceremony. Thinking twice the church lady really more reminds me of the church lady from Saturday Night Live. She is really condescending and sometimes rude. I hate to say that about a woman who works at the church I love so dearly but it's true. Today she left a message on my answering machine that was really snippy. She needs the paperwork to move forward with the convalidation on June 23. In all honesty I have just forgotten to pass by the church office to drop it off. I have been so busy with other things but I was planning on doing it at the end of this week. I was just really put off by her message. She told me that if I didn't have the paperwork to her that Fr OReilly would be very upset, blah blah blah.

I am going to run the paperwork by the office tomorrow and I am certain she will yell at me for some i that I didn't dot or some t that I didn't cross.

Marriage part 2

I went to St. David this morning to pick up the paperwork to start the process for getting married in the church. The last I spoke with the coordinator she said that we had to make an appt with Fr O'Reilly and we had to do it in the chapel. I said that was fine. She mentioned to me that since Fr O'Reilly goes away for July that we might want to do it in June so that we get him before he leaves. I said that was fine with me. I told her I would make any date available so whatever date was best for him would be good with me. I reiterated this today when I went into the office to file the paperwork. She then informs me that she was referring to June 2008! I must have had a surprised look on my face because I wasn't asking for a ceremony or mass. What I wanted was what they call a "convalidation of an existing union." Fancy words for "marriage without the ceremony."

***Side bar*** Prior to me taking these steps I had asked the coordinator of weddings if it was possible to have something simple in Fr O'Reilly's office. We would have two witnesses and only our children would need to be there. She told me no that was not possible.

So back to today. When she mentioned 2008, she then looked back in the calendar and glanced over June (2007!) calendar for Fr.O'Reilly and notices that he has June 23 wide open. No weddings, no baptisms. Just at that time he walks by her office and she calls him in. (By the way I have never seen him out of collar so when I saw him with a golf shirt, shorts and boat shoes I giggled inside). She tells him that I want a convalidation of existing union and would June 23 be a good day for him. He says in a hefty Irish voice "Let's do it now...where is the lad? (referring to Greg)" I let out a big laugh. Of course Greg wasn't there. I didn't bring him because the coordinator told me I couldn't do it the easy way in his office like I originally asked!

Anyway to make a long story short Fr O'Reilly says to me (in his Irish tone once again) "Come on the 23rd, whatever time you want and let's get this done and then you can have a nice lunch afterward".

So June 23rd is the official date of convalidation.

It's getting hard to get married

I made a phone call to our church yesterday to find out what it will take for me and Greg to be married by our priest. I was forced to talk to the lady who coordinates the marriages/weddings. I had no idea where to start since I don't want a wedding. I just want a priest to marry us. We had a wedding 5 years ago. I want to close this open loop in my life.

As soon as I got on the phone with her she seemed so impatient with me. I explained to her my situation and that I didn't really want a wedding ceremony but rather an appt with the priest so that he could marry us officially. After all, it's not about the ceremony is it...rather about the marriage. So I thought.

She told me that I had to have some type of ceremony. Why, I thought. I listened further and she said that if it was going to be just us and witnesses that we can do something in the small chapel inside the church. Fine was how I responded. She told me all the paperwork that I needed....copy of annulment certficate, baptism certificates, and other paperwork that I have to fill out. My plan is to set a date sometime in June because Fr. O'Reilly will be in Ireland for most of July. I also prefer Fr O'Reilly because Greg really likes him and that pleases me.

This piece of unfinished business will finally be closed.